{"id":1424,"date":"2010-06-01T20:22:45","date_gmt":"2010-06-02T00:22:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifewithhappiness.com\/?p=1424"},"modified":"2018-10-02T15:26:24","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T19:26:24","slug":"create-space-for-happiness-just-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2010\/06\/create-space-for-happiness-just-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Create Space for Happiness: Just Say No"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I just finished the most overwhelming month I\u2019ve encountered in a LONG time.<br \/>\nI had a major client project coming to a close (with tons of final meetings), an enormous amount of work for a training program I\u2019m enrolled in myself, a peak of client work, and several out of town trips for work\u2026 PLUS a son\u2019s college graduation and another son\u2019s wedding (two weekends of this), all of it out of town and requiring travel\u2026.PLUS it\u2019s spring time, and we had to get our garden planted in a specific window and maintain the yard.<br \/>\nWhew!\u00a0 As much as I walk my talk, all the meditation, breathing, and gratitude practices in the world were not enough to keep me from falling into frustration, overwhelm, guilt (from missing a deadline), and even, on a particularly bad night, from despair.<br \/>\nHey, don\u2019t lie to me \u2013 you\u2019ve been there!\u00a0 Imagine: There I was, lying on the bottom of the pit of despair and hopelessness, wishing for calm and happiness and satisfaction\u2026when I realized what the problem was.<br \/>\n<strong>I was forgetting Happiness Principle #1: Be Positively Self-ish!<\/strong> I\u2019d forgotten that sometimes the shortest path to sanity is to use one of the shortest words in the dictionary: No.<br \/>\nAnd so I spent the next day working up the courage to start saying No.\u00a0 I reviewed my calendar, computed how much time I\u2019d need for all my commitments, and calculated that I had more work than hours available.\u00a0 (Confession \u2013 at this point, I had trouble breathing.\u00a0 Honestly!)<br \/>\nGulp!\u00a0 So the first order of business was determining what I would say NO to.\u00a0 I decided that I would NOT say No to sleep.\u00a0 (Bad idea, to skip sleep).<br \/>\nNext, I sorted out two projects and renegotiated the due dates.\u00a0 I started to feel optimistic, once again.\u00a0 Then the phone rang.<br \/>\n\u201cHi, Jim.\u00a0 We really need you.\u00a0 Right now.\u00a0 Can you come in and facilitate this leadership meeting for us, right away, for which we\u2019ll pay you money?\u201d\u00a0 (that\u2019s not really how it went, but that\u2019s what I heard).\u00a0 Gulp, again.\u00a0 And I looked back down into the pit of despair and hopelessness\u2026and in that dark place I found a tiny bit of backbone and courage, and I said, \u201cI\u2019d love to!\u00a0 AND I am totally swamped right now, and cannot commit to any more work until June.\u00a0 Can that still work for you?\u201d\u00a0 (My mind raced through many dark scenarios\u2026 will they leave me?\u00a0 Will they say, \u201cno way?\u201d)<br \/>\nHallelujah!\u00a0 \u201cnot a problem, Jim.\u00a0 I understand.\u201d\u00a0 And we looked ahead to the relatively open space on my June calendar.<br \/>\nThis conversation repeated a few times, and the wonderful thing is, now my June is pretty full.\u00a0 Great stuff!\u00a0 If I\u2019d not found the courage to Just Say No, I would have been completely underwater, and probably trying to edit strategy documents at my son\u2019s wedding last weekend!<br \/>\n<strong>Boundaries protect us<\/strong><br \/>\nWhen you Just Say No to things you can\u2019t handle right now, you are taking very good care of yourself.\u00a0 Saying No creates a strong boundary, so that other people know how far they can go and what they can ask of you.\u00a0 If you have weak boundaries, you can end up in situations you do not like, trying to fulfill commitments you can\u2019t handle\u2026 and you\u2019ll be miserable.<br \/>\nAnd remember, when you take care of YOU, you end up with more capacity to take care of others, and in the end, there\u2019s more happiness to go around for everyone.<br \/>\nBecause I Just Said No, I was able to be fully present to all my clients, meet most of my commitments on time, and still spend all my weekends with family.<br \/>\nSo when life threatens to run you over, take care of you.\u00a0 Just Say No.<br \/>\n~~~~~~~~~~<br \/>\nLiving <strong>Happiness Principle # 1, Be Positively Self-ish <\/strong>is critical if you are to open up space to live life on YOUR terms versus everyone else\u2019s.\u00a0 Why not post a copy of the original 13 Principles on your workstation wall or on your refrigerator?\u00a0 You can download a 1-page summary here: <a href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/13-principles\/\">https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/happiness\/philosophies.cfm. <\/a> Choose Happiness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I just finished the most overwhelming month I\u2019ve encountered in a LONG time. I had a major client project coming to a close (with tons of final meetings), an enormous amount of work for a training program I\u2019m enrolled in myself, a peak of client work, and several out of town trips for work\u2026 PLUS &#8230; <a title=\"Create Space for Happiness: Just Say No\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2010\/06\/create-space-for-happiness-just-say-no\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Create Space for Happiness: Just Say No\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[146,122,311,312],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Create Space for Happiness: Just Say No - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2010\/06\/create-space-for-happiness-just-say-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Create Space for Happiness: Just Say No - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I just finished the most overwhelming month I\u2019ve encountered in a LONG time. 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