{"id":2371,"date":"2008-12-17T07:00:11","date_gmt":"2008-12-17T11:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifewithhappiness.com\/?p=382"},"modified":"2018-10-03T16:01:39","modified_gmt":"2018-10-03T20:01:39","slug":"eight-tips-for-holiday-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2008\/12\/eight-tips-for-holiday-happiness\/","title":{"rendered":"Eight Tips for Holiday Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A recent Saturday Night Live skit revolved around a family of grown siblings gathered for Christmas Dinner.\u00a0 Their interaction moved from the sharing of warm moments and singing carols to screaming tirades based on sibling \u201cissues\u201d from childhood.<br \/>\nThe humor came out of human moments.\u00a0 How many of us have a similar \u201clove \u2018em\/can\u2019t stand \u2018em\u201d relationship with parts of our family \u2013 one that surfaces when we are gathered for a shared meal or exchange of gifts?<br \/>\nThe skit struck me as particularly relevant because I\u2019ve had numerous conversations with friends and clients over the past couple weeks: adults in their mid-40\u2019s who can\u2019t seem to escape a relationship pattern that was established when they were teens; concerns over petty rivalries spoiling holiday gatherings; or discussing the dread they feel when they think about the holidays.<br \/>\nHey, I\u2019ve been there: I\u2019m part of a big family.\u00a0 On one side, \u201cintimate\u201d gatherings involve 40 people ranging in age from 1 to 73, while on the other side of the family we mix up blended families and second marriages.\u00a0 Toss in a few crying babies and season with a sullen boyfriend who\u2019s \u201cbad for her,\u201d and we are never at a loss for drama!<br \/>\nAre you one of those hoping to SURVIVE the holidays this year?\u00a0 Perhaps these will help:<br \/>\n<strong>Eight Tips For Holiday Happiness<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Take a Breath, On Purpose. <\/strong>Breathing is the \u2013 let me repeat that, with more emphasis \u2013 THE most powerful tool you possess for helping you respond to stress-inducing situations.\u00a0 When you take a breath \u2013 on purpose \u2013 deep into your body, you provide extra fuel to your brain (for quicker thinking), while you create an autonomic relaxation response in your body.\u00a0 Try it right now (I\u2019ll wait).<br \/>\nAhhhhh\u2026. Wasn\u2019t that nice?\u00a0 Now, practice that several times a day, every day, so your body knows how to do that when Uncle Harry reminds you \u2013 yet again \u2013 that your apricot roll will never be as good as Great-grandma\u2019s &lt;grrrr&gt;.<br \/>\n<strong>2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Step Back. <\/strong>When you find yourself at the edge of your nerves, take a step back.\u00a0 Literally.\u00a0 The physical act of pulling your body back helps your emotions also pull back from the edge.\u00a0 From a calmer emotional space, you can de-escalate the situation.<br \/>\n<strong>3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Keep Your Wits About You. <\/strong>If someone did or said that in the workplace, would you react the same way you do as when your mother does it?\u00a0 If you\u2019re like most people, you play by a more \u201cprofessional\u201d set of norms at work.\u00a0 I suggest that if you bring your Work Wits to a family gathering, you\u2019ll find it easier to respond appropriately, and then move on to the next conversation.<br \/>\n<strong>4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Don\u2019t \u201cPlay To Win.\u201d <\/strong>A good conversation is about the exchange of ideas.\u00a0 If you need to always Be Right \u2013 if your goal is to \u201cwin points\u201d \u2013 you\u2019ll be spending lots of your holiday time trying to convince others to change their \u201cwrong\u201d opinions.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Unless they live with you every day, who cares?\u00a0 They\u2019re your relatives, not your competitors on Survivor!<br \/>\n<strong>5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Keep It Light. <\/strong>If you\u2019re like many people, you will spend a good deal of time selecting an outfit to wear to each gathering.\u00a0 While you\u2019re in the closet, pull down that Smile you keep in a jar on the shelf.\u00a0 And layer on a pleasant expression, while you\u2019re at it.\u00a0 If you arrive already tense and grouchy based on what happened last year, you\u2019ll guarantee a tough time.\u00a0 But show up in your best Smile, ready to laugh at cousin Ron\u2019s (very lame) jokes, and you may just enjoy yourself!<br \/>\n<strong>6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Let It Go. <\/strong>Yes, I know that cousin Judy really ticked you off by scheduling her wedding just two weeks before yours.\u00a0 But come on \u2013 that was 13 years ago!\u00a0 And are you EVER going to let go of resentment over what your little brother did to you when he was 17 and an idiot \u2013 before he got married and got responsible?\u00a0 Remember that forgiveness is a very powerful emotion; it does not erase the past, but it gives you permission to not let what happened in the past drag you down in the present.\u00a0 Let it go, and notice how much lighter and happier you feel.<br \/>\n<strong>7.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hang Around With the Little Ones. <\/strong>When you arrive at a family gathering that involves kids, share some of it with them.\u00a0 Chat with your teen-aged nieces and nephews and listen to their dreams.\u00a0 Allow yourself to be relaxed and real with a giggly four-year old.\u00a0 And while other people might engage in the drama, you\u2019ll have a lot more fun laying on the floor and looking at the tree from underneath!<br \/>\n<strong>8.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s Not About The Gifts. <\/strong>Really.\u00a0 It\u2019s not.\u00a0 You know that \u2013 I\u2019m not telling you anything new.\u00a0 I\u2019m just reminding you to tap into the wisdom you already possess.\u00a0 Focus on relationships and just being together.\u00a0 Notice your blessings.\u00a0 Maybe even convince the family to share something they are grateful for before you open all the pretty boxes.\u00a0 Best Buy\u2019s tagline is \u201cYou. Happier.\u201d With all due respect, you can\u2019t buy happiness in a box at an electronics store.<br \/>\n<strong>9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bonus Tip: Breathe. <\/strong>Yes, this is repeat of Tip #1 &#8212; it\u2019s that powerful.\u00a0 The word Inspiration (to breath in) means literally \u2018to infuse with life\/breath.\u2019\u00a0 When you notice something that\u2019s about to suck away some of your happiness, inspire yourself with a gift of calm and extra oxygen.\u00a0 Plus, there\u2019s a bonus to taking a nice long breath in \u2013 you can\u2019t talk!\u00a0 And if you can\u2019t talk, you make a better listener.\u00a0 This is a pretty happy place to be!<br \/>\n~~~~~~~~~~<br \/>\nThe 13 Principles of Happiness provide more ideas for increasing your happiness, especially relevant in a world gone mad.<br \/>\nWhy not download and post a 1-page summary of all 13 as a reminder?\u00a0 You can do so here: <a href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2011\/10\/13-principles\/\">https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/happiness\/philosophies.cfm<\/a>.\u00a0 Take care of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A recent Saturday Night Live skit revolved around a family of grown siblings gathered for Christmas Dinner.\u00a0 Their interaction moved from the sharing of warm moments and singing carols to screaming tirades based on sibling \u201cissues\u201d from childhood. The humor came out of human moments.\u00a0 How many of us have a similar \u201clove \u2018em\/can\u2019t stand &#8230; <a title=\"Eight Tips for Holiday Happiness\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2008\/12\/eight-tips-for-holiday-happiness\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Eight Tips for Holiday Happiness\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[119,40],"tags":[60,140,43],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Eight Tips for Holiday Happiness - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2008\/12\/eight-tips-for-holiday-happiness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Eight Tips for Holiday Happiness - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A recent Saturday Night Live skit revolved around a family of grown siblings gathered for Christmas Dinner.\u00a0 Their interaction moved from the sharing of warm moments and singing carols to screaming tirades based on sibling \u201cissues\u201d from childhood. 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