{"id":2385,"date":"2009-01-26T07:16:19","date_gmt":"2009-01-26T11:16:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifewithhappiness.com\/?p=515"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:56","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:56","slug":"advice-for-happier-performance-appraisals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2009\/01\/advice-for-happier-performance-appraisals\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice for Happier Performance Appraisals"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a busy season for Performance Appraisal (PA) discussions, and this topic’s come up with several clients recently.\u00a0 Anxiety seems to be the most common emotion associated with PAs, both on the part of the receiver and the writer\/manager.
\nA little anxiety running up to the conversation can be helpful\u00a0 — it will keep you alert and engaged during all the discussions.\u00a0 Once the conversation starts, however, you don’t want to be trying to speak and listen from a body of anxiety.\u00a0 Your primary filter in anxiety (a low grade version of fear) is, “This person may be wanting to do me harm, so I must be vigilant.”\u00a0 How can anyone be a good listener when THAT conversation is going on inside one’s head, and the body is sitting on the edge of a fight\/flight\/freeze response?
\nSo I offer two pieces of advice, one for you if you are a manager\/writer of the review, and one for if you are the subject of a PA (and many of you find yourself in both roles, I’m sure!).\u00a0\u00a0 This comes out of my personal experience — 20 years of leading over 400 performance review conversations, during which time I made my share of mistakes and learned a whole heck of a lot of great ways to create a positive conversation even when the news is difficult:
\nFor the manager\/writer<\/strong>
\nWhether you are delivering good or bad news, praise or corrective steering advice, always respect the PERSON.\u00a0 You may disagree w\/ their opinion; don’t be disagreeable.\u00a0 You may think your assessment is superior to theirs; don’t forget to listen, hear them out, even as you choose to disagree with their assessment. In every way possible, seek to make it a a conversation\/dialogue rather than a monologue.
\nWhen you find your emotions rising up (anger, anxiety, irritation) remember to sit back, take a deep breathe, and let your body settle down before you continue.\u00a0 As the saying goes, “People will forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
\nFor the receiver of feedback<\/strong>
\nRemember that you are human, and that you are not perfect.\u00a0 No, your boss is not perfect, either, but that’s not point.\u00a0 The business purpose of Performance Appraisal is to assess contribution to the business and to grow capacity for the future.\u00a0 It’s a business tool, not a massage.
\nIf you arrive in a PA conversation believing that the purpose of the exercise is to feed your ego, you will be disappointed.\u00a0 If, however, you arrive with an eagerness to talk about what more you can do to learn, improve, grow, and otherwise increase your value to the company, you’re far more likely to “hear” any critical feedback as a GIFT to you.\u00a0 After all, if all anyone shares with you is praise, you’ll miss the opportunity to grow!
\nEven if your manager does a clumsy job of delivering feedback (and a lot of them do), try to get past their delivery to the nuggets of helpful information.\u00a0\u00a0 It’s YOUR responsibility, after all, to build your skills and your career.
\nOH, and the same advice to you about breathing:\u00a0 When you find your emotions rising up (anger, anxiety, defensiveness) remember to sit back, take a deep breathe, and let your body settle down before you continue.\u00a0 And remember:\u00a0 It may be personal, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it personally.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42
\nI hope this is helpful for your discussions!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a busy season for Performance Appraisal (PA) discussions, and this topic’s come up with several clients recently.\u00a0 Anxiety seems to be the most common emotion associated with PAs, both on the part of the receiver and the writer\/manager. A little anxiety running up to the conversation can be helpful\u00a0 — it will keep … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,11,40],"tags":[179,180,181,41],"yoast_head":"\nAdvice for Happier Performance Appraisals - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2009\/01\/advice-for-happier-performance-appraisals\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Advice for Happier Performance Appraisals - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is a busy season for Performance Appraisal (PA) discussions, and this topic’s come up with several clients recently.\u00a0 Anxiety seems to be the most common emotion associated with PAs, both on the part of the receiver and the writer\/manager. A little anxiety running up to the conversation can be helpful\u00a0 — it will keep ... 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