{"id":2796,"date":"2013-04-18T16:50:27","date_gmt":"2013-04-18T16:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=2796"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:43","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:43","slug":"play-that-happy-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2013\/04\/play-that-happy-music\/","title":{"rendered":"Play that Happy Music!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dancing<\/p>\n

One of my mantras is that you — and you alone — are respo<\/b>nsible for your own happiness, that it is your decision<\/b>. \u00a0And if no one else can “make” you happy, it stands to reason that you cannot make other people happy either. \u00a0Right? \u00a0<\/p>\n

Well, sort of. \u00a0<\/b>Just because you can’t make someone dance doesn’t mean you can’t invite them to sit down and listen to the music. \u00a0And perhaps, maybe, if the tune is catchy and everyone around them is dancing, they’ll start to sway to the beat at least a little. \u00a0It is almost a universal truth that music moves us. \u00a0<\/p>\n

The same is true of Emotions<\/b>. \u00a0If I invite you to join a group having an upbeat, optimistic conversation, you are more likely to pick up some of that energy. \u00a0You can’t give other people their emotional music, yet you can do an awful lot to create the space, the energy, and the opportunity for them to pick up a different emotional rhythm; and maybe, just maybe, they’ll dance a bit happier.<\/p>\n

13 Ways to Create a Positive Space for Others to Feel Happier<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Help Someone<\/b>… to carry something, make a call, run a meeting, stir the batter, prepare for a conversation, or fold the laundry. \u00a0No matter how big or small the task, when you make a sincere offer to help, you activate in the other person their Gratitude response.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  2. Be Deliberately Courteous<\/b>. \u00a0Have you ever had a great time shopping at a store or dining out, only to have your enthusiasm dampened when a dour clerk checked you out like a robot? \u00a0Do the opposite. \u00a0Stop for two seconds, make eye contact, and offer a heartfelt Thank You (or You Are Welcome!). \u00a0You may be the first person that day to send a ray of sunshine into that person’s dark cloud.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  3. Offer Praise and Appreciation<\/b>. \u00a0Every day, look for at least one opportunity to say Great Job or I Appreciate You\/What You Did. \u00a0Most people are walking around stewing in their own negative self-talk and a ceaseless barrage of criticism from others. \u00a0When you remind them of their value, you reconnect them with Hope.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  4. Customize Your Delivery<\/b>.\u00a0 When you have conversation with people, do it in a way that serves them.\u00a0 Gary Chapman\u2019s Five Love Languages demonstrates this principle in a way that really helped my marriage.\u00a0 I love to give presents, and for many years I felt hurt when my wife would return what I\u2019d purchased.\u00a0 We took the love language \u201ctest\u201d and learned we have very different ways of expressing and receiving love and affection.\u00a0I\u2019m sure to some people this sounds like heresy, but I rarely buy anything for my wife, now \u2013 the way she receives is through Acts of Service and Quality Time \u2013 so spending time with her or DOING things for her makes her far happier than spending money. \u00a0Customize your communication and you\u2019ll create more happiness in your relationships.\u00a0 You can take the Love Languages Quiz here: http:\/\/www.5lovelanguages.com<\/li>\n
  5. Send a Note<\/b>. Handwritten will have more impact, while email will have the advantage of speed – make a deliberate choice based on the other person\u2019s best way of receiving.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  6. Tell Someone You Care About Them<\/b>.\u00a0 Strong relationships and personal connections is one of the five pillars of Positive Emotion.\u00a0 When you tell someone they matter to you, you strengthen the foundation of their Happiness.<\/li>\n
  7. Pay It Forward<\/b>.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a tip for doubling or tripling how good you feel when you receive a compliment or a thank you:\u00a0 Pass the same on to someone else.\u00a0 Leverage your good feeling when you intentionally look for a way to give appreciation or recognition to someone else.\u00a0 You feel even better, plus you make their day.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  8. Listen to Another Talk About Their Goals or Dreams<\/b>.\u00a0 JUST listen.\u00a0 Give them the space to speak without being told they are being unrealistic or silly or that they have much work ahead.\u00a0 Open your heart large enough to hold that other person\u2019s dreams for a moment, and you will create a rare moment of optimism and ambition<\/li>\n
  9. Make a Point to Address People By Their Name<\/b>. \u00a0 A person\u2019s name is sacred and you honor them when you use it.\u00a0 Write it in your emails, say it on your voicemails.\u00a0 When you receive your coffee, groceries, or a bank receipt, read nametags and uses their name when you say thanks.\u00a0My father-in-law is legendary in our family \u2013 he always gets the server\u2019s name, and then uses it often.\u00a0 You\u2019d be surprised at how many servers forget they even gave their name (it\u2019s part of the \u201cscript,\u201d right?).\u00a0 You create a different atmosphere when you acknowledge another\u2019s humanity.<\/li>\n
  10. Call Out Excellence<\/b>. \u00a0When you are impressed, say, \u201cYou are amazing!\u201d or \u201cI was very impressed with\u2026\u201d They will feel the warmth from your remark long after you leave.<\/li>\n
  11. Smile At People<\/b>.\u00a0 A) People are mirrors; we reflect back what we get.\u00a0 B) A smile on the face activates a complex emotional sequence that increases feelings of positivity.\u00a0 Add those two, and your smiles impact other\u2019s moods as surely as the smile affects your own.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  12. Reach Out and Touch Someone<\/b>.\u00a0 We crave human connection.\u00a0 Give a Hug, a touch on the arm, a warm handshake, or just face the other person heart-to-heart and give them full attention for a moment.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  13. Ask to Speak With the Manager<\/b>. This is my wife’s favorite tool for making someone’s day: when we\u2019ve had really good service at a retail or food establishment, she will ask to see a manager.\u00a0 90% of the time, the reaction they signal is dread or fear.\u00a0 I love watching how the manager’s eyes shift from caution to joy when my wife shares a positive story.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Music moves all who are in the room to hear it.\u00a0 <\/b>When you intentionally play a more positive note in your speaking and behavior, you set the stage for others to enjoy a bright spot that may not have occurred but for you.\u00a0 And who doesn\u2019t like to be told: \u201cYou make me happy when you show up!\u201d<\/p>\n

    So play that Happy Music, and enjoy the dance you started.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

    Photo courtesy of\u00a0Chris JL<\/a>\u00a0via\u00a0Compfight<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    One of my mantras is that you — and you alone — are responsible for your own happiness, that it is your decision. \u00a0And if no one else can “make” you happy, it stands to reason that you cannot make other people happy either. \u00a0Right? \u00a0 Well, sort of. \u00a0Just because you can’t make someone … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[119,34,274,11,40,50],"tags":[266,44,346,192,295,59,332],"yoast_head":"\nPlay that Happy Music! - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2013\/04\/play-that-happy-music\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Play that Happy Music! - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One of my mantras is that you — and you alone — are responsible for your own happiness, that it is your decision. \u00a0And if no one else can “make” you happy, it stands to reason that you cannot make other people happy either. \u00a0Right? \u00a0 Well, sort of. \u00a0Just because you can’t make someone ... 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