{"id":2825,"date":"2013-06-01T22:20:19","date_gmt":"2013-06-01T22:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=2825"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:43","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:43","slug":"every-story-can-have-a-happy-ending-even-yours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2013\/06\/every-story-can-have-a-happy-ending-even-yours\/","title":{"rendered":"Every Story Can Have a Happy Ending – Even Yours!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The root of human suffering lies in our inability to know the difference between an assessment and an assertion. ~Byron Katie, Loving What Is<\/em><\/p>\n

If you’ve ever taken a personality assessment (like MBTI, DiSC, or a host of others) you know that for all the uniqueness of the 6 Billion people on earth, we all resonate with one of about a dozen core personality styles.<\/strong> Whether you name your style using letters, words, colors, or earth elements, you can improve interaction with others when you understand your own behavior preferences and make deliberate choices to adjust to others’ preferences.<\/p>\n

In a like way, we all have a core story, or assessment, we believe about ourselves, and there’s only a handful of those.<\/strong> I’m not talking about the stories you’ve made up about who you are or pretend to be. I’m talking about your core belief about self. We call this your Master Assessment (MA).<\/p>\n

Your Master Assessment was planted in you by the culture of your upbringing.<\/strong> First, there was your family\/community culture, then the culture of the socio-economic group of which your family was a member, which nestled inside of a city or region or country that also had stories about itself.<\/p>\n

You are “innocent” in the acquisition of your Master Assessment \u2013 the world trained you in it.<\/strong> So there is no good or bad in your MA \u2013 it just is. The question is, WHAT is it, and how does it affect you?<\/p>\n

What Feeds Your Roots?<\/div>\n

What’s your story?<\/strong> I mean the one you tell yourself deep down, when you think nobody else is listening? Or sometimes, so deep down that even YOU are not listening?<\/p>\n

Think about a tree. The branches and leaves represent the most visible parts of you,<\/strong> the way you interact with others, the ways you “put yourself out there” in the world. The leaves and branches change throughout the year, just as you adjust your behavior to the situations and “seasons” of your life.<\/p>\n

\"\"The trunk is your core personality,<\/strong> the part you keep behind a thicker skin (your bark). In your trunk is your history, just as the rings in the trunk of a tree will tell the history of that tree. This part of you changes more slowly as you add layers each year.<\/p>\n

Below ground are your roots \u2013 the stories and assessments and learnings of your past, the things that fed you growing up.<\/strong> These assessments are invisible, yet they are strong and persistent like the roots of a tree, weaving their fingers into everything and holding on fiercely. Sometimes roots (your stories) get moved or removed, forcing growth in another direction. But the main root, your Master Assessment, never changes \u2013 it is what holds you up and holds you in place.<\/p>\n

Finding your Favorite Master Assessment<\/div>\n

Your MA is fundamental to how you show up in the world, always sitting below the surface, and most often showing up when you feel stressed.<\/strong> You probably notice your MA as the conversation you have in your head, with yourself.<\/p>\n

Here are the six Master Assessments.<\/strong> Each of us holds one or two of these in our deep roots. Which one is yours?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I can.<\/strong> (I have the opportunity, I have permission, it’s OK for me to try, it is possible for me to succeed)<\/li>\n
  2. I can’t.<\/strong> (I do not have permission, no one will let me, it is not possible for me to succeed, I don’t have a chance)<\/li>\n
  3. I’m loveable.<\/strong> (I deserve love and affection, I am important to others, I have a place in the world)<\/li>\n
  4. I’m unlovable.<\/strong> (I am not important, people treat me well only because they are being polite, I do not deserve to be loved or trusted)<\/li>\n
  5. I should be able to.<\/strong> (I am entitled, I deserve to have what I want, I am better than you, I’m special)<\/li>\n
  6. I’m not good enough.<\/strong> (I am insufficient, others are better than me, no one wants what I have to offer, I have to try harder)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    How Your Master Assessments Affect You<\/div>\n

    Each MA is rooted in a different emotional space, and can have both positive and negative impacts on how you live your life: <\/strong><\/p>\n