{"id":451,"date":"2013-02-16T16:36:55","date_gmt":"2013-02-16T16:36:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dev.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?page_id=451"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:44","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:44","slug":"fake-it-make-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2013\/02\/fake-it-make-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Fake It Till You Make It"},"content":{"rendered":"

My commitment to my profession requires that I participate in ongoing coach training to receive Continuing Education Units. I recently attended a program on affirmations that was clever and well done, but focused exclusively on language as a vehicle for personal change. In my assessment, that is insufficient; for words that are not grounded in action change little.<\/p>\n

We Must Engage the Mind-Body Connection<\/h2>\n

The Mind-Body connection is this: What you think affects how you feel, and those emotions affect your body \u2013 your non-verbal language like posture and facial expression, the actions you take, the words that come out of your mouth, how you walk, talk, and even your pulse rate and how you breathe.<\/p>\n

While sometimes wonderful things happen\u00a0during<\/em>\u00a0a coaching conversation,\u00a0the fact is that most coaching occurs\u00a0between<\/em>conversations as clients process and expand the ideas generated from the conversation.<\/strong>\u00a0We can together create a new idea, feeling, or posture during a coaching discussion, but merely talking about it and trying it\u00a0once<\/em>\u00a0does nothing.<\/p>\n

It is only through repetition that a new habit can form,<\/strong>\u00a0a new thinking can overwrite an old “tape recording,” or a new response can replace an old instinctive emotional reaction.<\/p>\n

Here’s a common clip from a conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cJim, this is very UNnatural for me. It\u2019s not comfortable.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not unusual. Your system wants to go back the thinking\/feeling\/actions that it\u2019s always known, even if that old pattern was unproductive.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026it feels really fake for me to talk\/behave this way.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you ever faked behavior before? Has there ever been a time when you imitated someone or put on a false face just to \u2018fit in\u2019 or be in compliance with what was required?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Often, there’s a realization here.\u00a0We\u2019ve all had the Human experience of intentionally modifying our behavior to fit in or to avoid a consequence.<\/strong>\u00a0When we say, \u201cThis is who I am,\u201d we are forgetting that at some past time the behavior\/reaction that is now habit was, in fact, something we had to fake until we got it \u201cright.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why we call this \u2018fake it till you make it.\u2019<\/strong>\u00a0You have to practice, practice, practice a new thinking or behavior many times to overlay that OLD thinking or behavior pattern.<\/p>\n

It Takes Many Repetitions<\/h2>\n

Somatic experts<\/strong>\u00a0(those who work with the body as a whole system)\u00a0tell us that it requires a minimum of 100 repetitions of a new action for our bodies to even start to get comfortable with it,<\/strong>\u00a0and thousands of repetitions before it becomes an unthinking response. And Brain experts tell us that it takes many, many repetitions of a new thought to lay down new neural pathways in the brain.<\/p>\n

So is change hard? Yes. AND you’ve done this many times before.<\/strong>\u00a0How do you think you developed your many habits in the first place?!<\/p>\n

Try This For Yourself<\/h2>\n

Stop for a moment and consider something you want to change in yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0For example, you may want to:<\/p>\n