{"id":451,"date":"2013-02-16T16:36:55","date_gmt":"2013-02-16T16:36:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dev.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?page_id=451"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:44","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:44","slug":"fake-it-make-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2013\/02\/fake-it-make-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Fake It Till You Make It"},"content":{"rendered":"
My commitment to my profession requires that I participate in ongoing coach training to receive Continuing Education Units. I recently attended a program on affirmations that was clever and well done, but focused exclusively on language as a vehicle for personal change. In my assessment, that is insufficient; for words that are not grounded in action change little.<\/p>\n
The Mind-Body connection is this: What you think affects how you feel, and those emotions affect your body \u2013 your non-verbal language like posture and facial expression, the actions you take, the words that come out of your mouth, how you walk, talk, and even your pulse rate and how you breathe.<\/p>\n
While sometimes wonderful things happen\u00a0during<\/em>\u00a0a coaching conversation,\u00a0the fact is that most coaching occurs\u00a0between<\/em>conversations as clients process and expand the ideas generated from the conversation.<\/strong>\u00a0We can together create a new idea, feeling, or posture during a coaching discussion, but merely talking about it and trying it\u00a0once<\/em>\u00a0does nothing.<\/p>\n It is only through repetition that a new habit can form,<\/strong>\u00a0a new thinking can overwrite an old “tape recording,” or a new response can replace an old instinctive emotional reaction.<\/p>\n Here’s a common clip from a conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJim, this is very UNnatural for me. It\u2019s not comfortable.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not unusual. Your system wants to go back the thinking\/feeling\/actions that it\u2019s always known, even if that old pattern was unproductive.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2026it feels really fake for me to talk\/behave this way.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHave you ever faked behavior before? Has there ever been a time when you imitated someone or put on a false face just to \u2018fit in\u2019 or be in compliance with what was required?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Often, there’s a realization here.\u00a0We\u2019ve all had the Human experience of intentionally modifying our behavior to fit in or to avoid a consequence.<\/strong>\u00a0When we say, \u201cThis is who I am,\u201d we are forgetting that at some past time the behavior\/reaction that is now habit was, in fact, something we had to fake until we got it \u201cright.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s why we call this \u2018fake it till you make it.\u2019<\/strong>\u00a0You have to practice, practice, practice a new thinking or behavior many times to overlay that OLD thinking or behavior pattern.<\/p>\n Somatic experts<\/strong>\u00a0(those who work with the body as a whole system)\u00a0tell us that it requires a minimum of 100 repetitions of a new action for our bodies to even start to get comfortable with it,<\/strong>\u00a0and thousands of repetitions before it becomes an unthinking response. And Brain experts tell us that it takes many, many repetitions of a new thought to lay down new neural pathways in the brain.<\/p>\n So is change hard? Yes. AND you’ve done this many times before.<\/strong>\u00a0How do you think you developed your many habits in the first place?!<\/p>\n Stop for a moment and consider something you want to change in yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0For example, you may want to:<\/p>\n Here are a few ideas to help you create a new pattern:<\/strong><\/p>\n New Thinking<\/em><\/strong> \u00a0for many years, the neural pathways in your brain are like deep channels. To overwrite them, take a deliberate and consistent approach to working with a new thought or new story.<\/p>\n New Emotional Body<\/em><\/strong> New Behavior or Posture<\/em><\/strong> Physical, emotional, and mental are quite intertwined.<\/strong>\u00a0An intentional shift in any domain will affect all three\u2026 so you can come from any direction that works for you, then repeat over and again until you start to notice that new thinking\/response no longer feels fake.<\/p>\n Then one day you\u2019ll realize it\u2019s become part of \u201cwho you are\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0when that thinking\/response shows up at times of stress and when you\u2019re moving fast.<\/p>\n That\u2019s when you\u2019ll know you\u2019ve made it!<\/strong><\/p>\n ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<\/p>\n Jim Smith, PCC, is The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae.<\/strong>\u00a0He is an international speaker, executive and life coach, and author. He provides his clients with inspiration and practical tools to live a happier life and build more positive work cultures. He is the author of\u00a0Happiness At The Speed of Life: 13 Powerful Strategies for Finding Happiness at Home and On The Job,\u00a0and has touched the lives of over 10,000 people worldwide through his work on Positive Emotion and Leadership. You can connect with Jim at\u00a0theexecutivehappinesscoach.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My commitment to my profession requires that I participate in ongoing coach training to receive Continuing Education Units. I recently attended a program on affirmations that was clever and well done, but focused exclusively on language as a vehicle for personal change. In my assessment, that is insufficient; for words that are not grounded in … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n
It Takes Many Repetitions<\/h2>\n
Try This For Yourself<\/h2>\n
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Since you have been thinking<\/p>\n\n
Every emotion you live in corresponds to different body postures, breathing, and energy. If you want to live in a different mood or emotion start with your body \u2013 thus reversing from mind-body to a Body-Mind connection: a different body will cause different emotional responses, which will in turn affect your thoughts.<\/p>\n\n
You\u2019ve been living in your body for several decades, and you\u2019ve grown comfortable with the way you walk, sit, stand, breathe, and otherwise carry yourself. How you do so is neither good nor bad, it just is. But as long as you behave the way you\u2019ve always behaved, you\u2019ll always get the same outcomes.<\/p>\n\n
Fake It till it becomes your New Normal<\/h2>\n