{"id":4517,"date":"2017-08-23T08:42:19","date_gmt":"2017-08-23T12:42:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=4517"},"modified":"2018-10-02T17:09:36","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T21:09:36","slug":"are-you-listening-to-what-you-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2017\/08\/are-you-listening-to-what-you-say\/","title":{"rendered":"ARE YOU LISTENING TO WHAT YOU SAY?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Story:\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting in a coffee shop, writing.\u00a0 Background music creates a white noise, masking multiple streams of conversation I only half-notice from within my envelope of concentration.
\nWhenever a new customer walks in, the bright-eyed, caffeinated barista asks, <\/strong>\u201cHow are you this morning?\u201d Most respond with a simple \u201cfine,\u201d or \u201cokay.\u201d\u00a0 Some brave a \u201cgreat!\u201d or the oft-obvious \u201cI need coffee, first!\u201d
\nOne guy loudly replies, \u201cShitty!\u201d\u00a0 A pause (2, 3, 4\u2026).\u00a0 \u201cOh\u2026.\u201d Then, falling back into her usual patter, she asks, \u201cWell, what can I get for you today?\u201d\u00a0 Ah, but he doesn\u2019t want to let it go.\u00a0 In what can only be described as his \u2018stage voice\u2019, the patron continues: \u201cYou\u2019ll find out when you\u2019re older. It\u2019s shitty being old.\u201d
\nBy now, all other conversations have paused while everyone in the shop watches this mini-drama unfold (he\u2019s being too loud to ignore). <\/strong>I look up to see who\u2019s talking. The gentleman is probably my age, plus or minus; he sports grey hair around the temples and a bit of a paunch.\u00a0 He seems to be walking fine, all his limbs work, he has a nearly full head of hair, and apparently he has enough discretionary cash to afford a large mocha cinnamon latte thingy.
\nYet he chooses to describe his mood as \u201cshitty\u201d as he pinches his face into a scowl.\u00a0 I wonder what sort of day he\u2019s having, as he shuffles grumpily along, proclaiming his mood as though it is an unbearable weight, an inescapable consequence of aging, a mood he is condemned to carry<\/strong>.\u00a0 No one really wanted to continue conversation with him.
\nIs his day REALLY shitty?\u00a0 Well, as soon as he spoke it into reality, it was.<\/strong>
\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\nTwo days later, I\u2019m having breakfast in a diner when three older gentlemen are seated at the table next to me.<\/strong>\u00a0 One of them trails behind, his walker stuck on a chair leg.\u00a0 He sits slowly and carefully, using gnarled hands to pull his legs around underneath the table.\u00a0 The server for our section sweeps by with a tray full of food for another table and chirps, \u201cI\u2019ll be right with you guys. How y’all doin\u2019 today?\u201d
\nThe walker guy bounces right back with, \u201cNot bad, for a kid!\u201d<\/strong>
\n\u00a0<\/strong>Wow, what a contrast!\u00a0 I\u2019m betting that walker guy is having a much better day than the coffee guy \u2013 and so are the people around him.<\/strong>
\n~~~~~~~~~~~~
\n\u201cBut Jim,\u201d some say, \u201cit\u2019s just words.\u00a0 <\/strong>Not everybody is all chipper and positive.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather tell the truth than lie about how I\u2019m feeling!\u201d
\nOK, I hear you, and I agree that \u2018lying\u2019 is not usually a good strategy.\u00a0 Yet I believe they are more than \u201cjust words.\u201d
\nThere is great power in language.<\/strong>\u00a0 Language is an action \u2013 what you speak creates a new perspective on whatever reality existed a moment ago. Words and the energy they carry can create or destroy \u2013 and they define us as individuals in addition to defining our world.\u00a0 Yet even though we know this, we often let them flow out unattended, until suddenly we encounter negative consequences.
\nSo much of the pain we cause ourselves and each other could be avoided if were just a bit more attentive to what we say.\u00a0 <\/strong>Our relationships, our work environment, even our feelings about ourselves, can be transformed simply by taking time to think about how words create our reality.<\/p>\n

Do This For Yourself<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

The first step in changing your world is to start becoming conscious of what you say \u2013 both aloud to others and (in your head) to yourself.<\/strong>
\nFor the next week, be aware of not just what you say but also the way you say it.<\/strong>\u00a0 See if you can sense the emotional effect your words create.\u00a0 How do you feel after you speak?\u00a0 How do other people react?\u00a0 How is what you\u2019re saying changing the mood of the conversation?\u00a0 What \u201cspin\u201d are you putting out there to shift the way you or others are looking at a situation?
\nI promise you that when you observe, you\u2019ll notice new opportunities for yourself.<\/strong>
\nThe 13 Principles of Happiness offer a framework for a happier life.<\/strong> Print a copy here<\/a>, and post it on your workstation or fridge as a reminder to live your life deeply and from a happy space.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Story:\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting in a coffee shop, writing.\u00a0 Background music creates a white noise, masking multiple streams of conversation I only half-notice from within my envelope of concentration. Whenever a new customer walks in, the bright-eyed, caffeinated barista asks, \u201cHow are you this morning?\u201d Most respond with a simple \u201cfine,\u201d or \u201cokay.\u201d\u00a0 Some brave a … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[119,13,274,40],"tags":[146,51,30,244,115,35],"yoast_head":"\nARE YOU LISTENING TO WHAT YOU SAY? - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2017\/08\/are-you-listening-to-what-you-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"ARE YOU LISTENING TO WHAT YOU SAY? - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Story:\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting in a coffee shop, writing.\u00a0 Background music creates a white noise, masking multiple streams of conversation I only half-notice from within my envelope of concentration. Whenever a new customer walks in, the bright-eyed, caffeinated barista asks, \u201cHow are you this morning?\u201d Most respond with a simple \u201cfine,\u201d or \u201cokay.\u201d\u00a0 Some brave a ... 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