{"id":4613,"date":"2018-03-20T13:17:46","date_gmt":"2018-03-20T17:17:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=4613"},"modified":"2018-10-02T13:36:38","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T17:36:38","slug":"what-is-happiness-to-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2018\/03\/what-is-happiness-to-you\/","title":{"rendered":"WHAT IS HAPPINESS TO YOU?"},"content":{"rendered":"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n I recently began work with a coaching client based in Taipei, Taiwan. <\/b>\u00a0We are literally halfway around the world from each other geographically, yet both interested in the same topics. \u00a0As we began our work together, he shared that he was excited to work with a Happiness \u201cexpert,\u201d and sent me a many questions about Happiness in advance of our first conversation. His response: \u201cWow, that is such a big question.<\/b> Jim, with respect, I will humbly give it a try. \u00a0Please understand what I say are not definite facts, but simply my own beliefs.<\/span> If you\u2019ve been reading my work for a while, you\u2019ve probably guessed why this client\u2019s responses resonated so powerfully with me \u2014 because he keeps referring to choice.<\/b> \u00a0Someone who chooses <\/i>this versus that will have a different experience. \u00a0Being a victim is a lot less work, of course, because it\u2019s easier to blame others than to do the hard work. \u00a0Yet choosing victimhood means the chooser \u201cwill often find themselves distant from happiness.\u201d His response: \u201cThe most obvious one would be an exercise and health regime<\/b>. I used to be an excellent athlete back in high school and college days, so I know what it takes to get fit, or get healthy.<\/span> Create your own coach. \u00a0<\/b>Select a behavior or habit you seek to change so that what you DO better aligns with what you BELIEVE. \u00a0Write it down. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I. What Is Happiness To You? I recently began work with a coaching client based in Taipei, Taiwan. \u00a0We are literally halfway around the world from each other geographically, yet both interested in the same topics. \u00a0As we began our work together, he shared that he was excited to work with a Happiness \u201cexpert,\u201d … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5789,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[79,13,34,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-coaching","category-happiness","category-leadership","infinite-scroll-item"],"yoast_head":"\nI. What Is Happiness To You?<\/span> <\/b><\/h3>\n
\nI\u2019ve been studying Positive Psychology for nearly two decades, so I accept the label \u201cexpert\u201d to some degree; <\/b>but I\u2019m also a coach, one who believes that all my clients have access to more wisdom than they see in themselves. In addition, I thought the cultural context around happiness must be different through my American versus his Chinese lens.
\nSo I returned the questions to him and asked, how do YOU respond to these?<\/b> His response was so eloquent and authentic and complete that I felt inspired when I read it. \u00a0So I asked, \u201ccan I share this with my tribe?\u201d and he said Yes. So this month\u2019s essay blends two perspectives from opposite sides of the world.<\/p>\nQuestion 1: What do you believe to be true about happiness? \u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n
\nSo here it goes, in no particular order.<\/span><\/p>\n\n
Your Beliefs Are a Choice<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n
\nI was also impressed with how universal his writing feels.<\/b> Opposite side of the world, very different culture, yet the truths he speaks could belong to any of us. \u00a0The search for happiness is a human search.
\nOur correspondence eventually turned to how he lives out his beliefs about happiness. \u00a0<\/b>And of course that\u2019s the challenge we all face \u2014 what will we DO to build the new \u201cmuscles\u201d we need to live our choices? \u00a0Thus the final question:<\/p>\nQuestion 2: What practice or practices would you ideally like to have in your life that you do not have today?\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n
\nWhich brings me to a conclusion here.<\/b><\/span>
\nJim, I think I really struggle between the gap of <\/b>knowing<\/i><\/b> and <\/b>doing<\/i><\/b>.<\/b> [Don\u2019t we all?!]<\/i><\/span><\/span>
\nI have worked with or coached many people on how to win or succeed in life.<\/b> I have also worked with people on happiness, relationships, success…etc. and honestly, I’m quite good at it.<\/span>
\nChinese people have an interesting saying that maybe best sums it all: “I can take others across the river, but somehow, just not myself”.<\/i><\/b><\/span>
\nI know many of these answers; I can even help many people to apply these answers<\/b>. However, I’m stuck on what I preach not always showing up in my own life.\u201d<\/span>
\nHow many of you might have penned that last line yourself? \u00a0<\/b>You\u2019re great at advice, at helping others advance; yet you can\u2019t do it for yourself? \u00a0You can offer feedback to your team, but you don\u2019t always follow your own counsel? You can see others\u2019 flaws quite clearly, yet not your own?
\nP.S. That\u2019s one reason why the coaching profession exists \u2013 to support people on their journey — because \u201cIf you could do it yourself, it would already be done!\u201d<\/b><\/p>\nDo This For Yourself<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n
\nThen seek out a friend, colleague, family member, boss, or even a co-worker or neighbor you don\u2019t know very well and ask, \u201cWill you help me? \u00a0<\/b>All I need you to do is be a witness, as I declare a commitment to myself. \u00a0Then once a week, ask me how I\u2019m doing with my commitment. That\u2019s it.\u201d
\nA coaching relationship exists when you ask for support and another human being says, \u201cyes, I will.\u201d \u00a0<\/b>You still have to do the work, of course. \u00a0But having to hold yourself accountable to a witness each week will increase your awareness about your choices.<\/p>\nRemember: Leadership is not about a title. \u00a0Anyone can be a leader who supports others in making better choices then building the new skills and habits to live into those choices!<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n