{"id":5570,"date":"2019-02-20T06:43:42","date_gmt":"2019-02-20T11:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=5570"},"modified":"2019-02-19T21:54:35","modified_gmt":"2019-02-20T02:54:35","slug":"how-are-you-thinking-about-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2019\/02\/how-are-you-thinking-about-that\/","title":{"rendered":"HOW Are You Thinking About That?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Some of my best ideas emerge from challenges posed by my clients.<\/strong> I was recently asked to create a keynote for a client\u2019s All Staff retreat to tie Positivity into their overall theme, Speaking About What Matters. The final product blended my Happiness work with my core teachings on Conversation as Action.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n \u201cWhat if,\u201d I invited the audience, \u201cyou were to give as much attention to the mood of your conversations as you do to the language of them?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember that the roots of the word conversation, con and versare mean literally \u201cto turn with\u201d or \u201cto move with.\u201d<\/strong> Conversation is a vehicle to move people, together, and when you are aware of it, that shared movement can include everything from the coordination of action to the alignment of emotional space, vision, and purpose.<\/p>\n Just as you build physical strength by working out, you get better at the emotions and the conversations you most often practice.<\/strong> If you seek more positivity in your work, engage in your conversations with intention. Here are five ideas to overlay your workplace conversations with happiness:<\/p>\n To build strength in your \u201cpositive emotion muscle,\u201d you must exercise it regularly.<\/strong> The personal version of this is to regularly write down your blessings \u2013 positive life events or interactions that occur for you during that day. When you make it a priority to look for the positive in your life, you are more likely to see it as it happens and enjoy it more.<\/p>\n The work version of gratitude-as-conversation is to consider what you appreciate about others, and Actually. Say. It. To. Them.<\/strong> Yes, out loud, in conversation. Or begin meetings by having everyone in the room take 30 seconds to share a piece of good news (personal or professional), and watch how that positive, aligned energy translates into a more productive and engaging meeting.<\/p>\n When human beings reach out to touch others, we fill our own \u201cbuckets\u201d as well as theirs. When applied to conversations, I call the practice, \u201cDon\u2019t be Nice; Be Kind,\u201d where NICE is an acronym for:<\/strong><\/p>\n N<\/strong>othing When you are a \u201cnice\u201d person, you don\u2019t make waves, you don\u2019t ever make people uncomfortable\u2026 including yourself.<\/strong> No risk, no pain; but also no change, right?<\/p>\n The conversational act of Kindness is about saying what needs to be said, where KIND means:<\/strong><\/p>\n K<\/strong>een When you are KIND in your conversations, you focus on the other person and what is best for them<\/strong>. Again, remember that good conversation is about moving WITH someone, to a new place.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re on an airplane and the flight attendants deliver their pre-flight safety talk, they always remind you to put on your oxygen mask first. Why? Because you\u2019re no good to others if your own air supply is cut off. So be positively selfish, and recognize that when you occasionally take time for YOU, you have more capacity to show up for others.<\/strong><\/p>\n Strive to do something that feeds joy to your soul, even if all you can eke out is five minutes a day or one hour a week: indulge in self-care or exercise, read a book, enjoy a warm bath, meditate, work on a hobby, pray, or spend time with people you enjoy. The energy reserve you build from self-care will help you show up more positively at work and in your conversations with peers and clients.<\/strong><\/p>\n Regularly examine the loose ends and tolerations in your relationships that drag on you.<\/strong> What are the conversations you regularly avoid? Why is that? What might happen if you screwed up the courage or determination to just say it, give the feedback or offer your idea? Remember that the stories you create are usually worst-case melodramas, whereas real-life experience is typically much easier \u2013 not to mention the relief you\u2019ll feel not having to carry around that baggage with you each day.<\/p>\n Use the mind-body connection to help you respond differently to the world. Try this: slump your shoulders forward, look down, clench your jaw, and take shallow breaths. How\u2019s that feel? If you \u201clive\u201d in that body, notice what emotions hang out with you most often: anxiety, upset, worry, sadness, perhaps? How does that body show up in conversations? Closed, reactive, glum, maybe as Nervous Nellie\/Ned to coworkers.<\/p>\n To shift your attitude, shift to a body in which more positive emotions can reside.<\/strong> Ground your feet, sit or stand tall, look up at the horizon, smile, breathe deeply, and open your heart. Then notice how your conversations shift \u2013 and how differently others respond to you — when you \u201cwear\u201d happiness!<\/p>\n Remember, Leadership is not about a title.<\/strong> Anyone can be a Leader who intentionally holds a powerfully positive space for conversations that help others move \u2013 together – to a more optimistic and creative space.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Some of my best ideas emerge from challenges posed by my clients. I was recently asked to create a keynote for a client\u2019s All Staff retreat to tie Positivity into their overall theme, Speaking About What Matters. The final product blended my Happiness work with my core teachings on Conversation as Action. \u201cWhat if,\u201d I … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5796,"featured_media":5571,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[79,34,274,228,50,21],"tags":[490,489,488,192,30,487,67],"yoast_head":"\nPractice is powerful!<\/span><\/h2>\n
Practice gratitude<\/span><\/h2>\n
Perform an act of kindness<\/span><\/h2>\n
\nI<\/strong>nside of me
\nC<\/strong>ares
\nE<\/strong>nough to tell you the Truth<\/p>\n
\nI<\/strong>nsight into your
\nN<\/strong>eeds
\nD<\/strong>ares me to tell you the Truth<\/p>\nTake your own oxygen first<\/span><\/h2>\n
Eliminate frictions<\/span><\/h2>\n
Choose your attitude<\/span><\/h2>\n