{"id":6040,"date":"2021-04-21T13:32:11","date_gmt":"2021-04-21T17:32:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/?p=6040"},"modified":"2021-04-21T13:32:13","modified_gmt":"2021-04-21T17:32:13","slug":"you-are-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theexecutivehappinesscoach.com\/2021\/04\/you-are-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"You Are Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Black<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

IT\u2019S NOT JUST YOU \u2013 IT\u2019S ALL OF US!<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This blog is being published on Day 404 of the Pandemic.<\/strong> Yes, a year and six weeks since the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global celebration of all things Virus, introducing us to a whole new vocabulary like, WFH, virtual socials (what used to be an oxymoron!), social distancing, and PPE. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, there was so much to learn.<\/strong> We had to adapt how we lived and worked and learned in every domain; we had to deal with the loss of jobs and people and entire industries (goodbye travel, tourism, hospitality); and we had to renegotiate every task that previously required we leave our home space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the negative REASON why so many changes happened fast, the truth is that humanity got in touch, at least temporarily, with a vast capacity for creativity and resourcefulness.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then, flatline.<\/strong> Days blurred. Many of us slid into a sort of limbo where nothing moves, and everything just feels\u2026 blah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The New York Times recently published an article by one of my favorite positive psychology gurus, Adam Grant, titled: There\u2019s a Name for the Blah You\u2019re Feeling: It\u2019s Called Languishing<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grant says, \u201cLanguishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you\u2019re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021<\/strong>.\u201d After the initial adrenalin rush of the pandemic passed, we all had to adjust to a sometimes mind-numbingly boring and isolated existence, and this is not a space where we feel nourished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grant goes on to explain that \u201cLanguishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It\u2019s the void between depression and flourishing \u2014 the <\/strong>absence of well-being<\/strong><\/a>. You don\u2019t have symptoms of mental illness, but you\u2019re not the picture of mental health either. You\u2019re not functioning at full capacity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Read — or listen to Adam read — the full article here: <\/em>https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2021\/04\/19\/well\/mind\/covid-mental-health-languishing.html<\/em><\/a>.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is It OK To Be Negative?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it\u2019s just me, since I read a LOT about Happiness, but in recent months I\u2019ve seen an uptick in articles actually condemning Happiness and the whole notion of striving for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I get it. Really. Happiness, Joy, and Optimism have been harder to access under lockdowns and isolated work\/life, and rightfully so. Other emotions are more appropriate responses to the past year.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m always careful to remind people that EVERY emotion has value, as healthy emotions exist to tell us something.<\/strong> Fear keeps us safe. Sadness connects us with what we care about. Anger helps us stand up to injustice. Love moves us closer to others. And Hate \u2013 yes, even healthy hate — has value, as it moves us away from things we cannot stand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This past year Anxiety has been a prudent emotion in which to live.<\/strong> We\u2019ve found value in Compassion, Generosity, and Sympathy, AND in Dread, Horror, Impatience, and Righteousness, and why not? Happiness and Contentment would not have led to a vaccine in less than a year, nor would they have fueled the movements to support race and gender equity, voting rights, and human dignity. We need Anger! We need Disgust!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the conversation turns to \u201cevery cloud has a silver lining,\u201d do you just want to punch someone? Insisting that we must abandon the \u201cuncomfortable\u201d emotions that help us get stuff done is just crazy! (you might find this article on Toxic Positivity of value: https:\/\/www.medicalnewstoday.com\/articles\/toxic-positivit<\/a>y.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Secret Is To Listen To Your Emotions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The word e-motion means, literally, To move out from. <\/em>Emotions exist to help us take action.<\/strong> When you deny an emotion, tamp it down or ignore it, it never goes away. Emotions suppressed always surface at another time and place, sometimes in unhealthy and destructive ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research shows that talking about emotions, whether you label them \u201cpositive\u201d or \u201cnegative,\u201d helps the brain and body process those feelings.<\/strong> Other studies conclude that labeling and noticing emotions reduces the strength of neural pathways associated with those emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This finding suggests that talking about feelings \u2013 and letting them move out from you — makes them feel less overwhelming and thus reduces the power those emotions have over you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Are Enough<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Back to Languishing. Does that feel like you or someone you know? Stuck between feeling mentally well and depressed? Here are some tiny actions you might take.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, notice how it feels to give it a name and understand that it\u2019s not just you.<\/strong> You\u2019re not insufficient or less-than for feeling this way. You\u2019re good. You\u2019re human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, find ways and places to talk about the emotions you\u2019re feeling.<\/strong> And offer a space for others to do the same. Emotions are not logical, so there\u2019s no need to \u201cjustify\u201d how you feel. Just give emotions a space to be heard, and notice that \u2013 at least for a while \u2013 they lose some their power over you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, if you don\u2019t have a safe space to talk, then write.<\/strong> Journaling is a great way to slow down your brain while you unpack it. Many people find the experience of writing down their thoughts and feelings helps to reveal them as what they are \u2013 JUST thoughts and feelings, and thus possible to change or edit over time. Of course, you can both write AND talk them out!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, even if the world is beating on you, don\u2019t join that crowd.<\/strong> Look in the mirror and remind yourself, every day, that what you are bringing to the party today is enough. That whatever you have right now is enough, for now. That whatever you\u2019ve accomplished today is enough, for today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give yourself a break, so you don\u2019t break.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who honors everyone\u2019s emotions and experiences as valid and makes it safe to show up as an emotional, imperfect, and unique human being.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

IT\u2019S NOT JUST YOU \u2013 IT\u2019S ALL OF US! This blog is being published on Day 404 of the Pandemic. Yes, a year and six weeks since the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global celebration of all things Virus, introducing us to a whole new vocabulary like, WFH, virtual socials (what used to be … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5796,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,79,274,228,47,40,50,21],"tags":[557,29,496,30,556,451,539],"yoast_head":"\nYou Are Enough - The Executive Happiness Coach\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A full year of pandemic has changed our language, how we socialize, and the emotions we're feeling. 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Hey, I\u2019m still upbeat on Happiness. If you want a few more reminders, post this summary of <\/strong>The 13 Principles of Happiness<\/strong><\/a> on your refrigerator or WFH desk to remind you that every day, you have options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n