"Too Much" Dark Chocolate? Impossible!

“Do you really need that?” my wife asked as I dropped a dark chocolate bar into the grocery cart.
“One can never have too much dark chocolate,” I countered.  She gave me a look…. “I think you have an ample supply,” she offered, grimly.  Hmmm.
Curious, I set out to learn just how much chocolate I possess right now.  Here is my inventory.
In the refrigerator:

  • 3 bottles of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino
  • 3 of Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino  (well, as long as I’m here…make that 2)
  • 2 bottles Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout (excellent when served with.. Dark Chocolate!)

In the freezer:

  • 1 remaining sleeve of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies (I freeze them so they last all year — I should finish these just about the time the 2009 cookie sale commences!)

On the counter in my office:

  • 6 bars of Lake Champlain 54% Dark Chocolate bars in various stages of consumption, including Peppermint Crunch, Raspberry Truffle, Coffee Truffle, Dark Chocolate Truffle, Dark Chocolate with Almonds, and just a plain Dark Chocolate Bar
  • (correction.  The Dark Chocolate Truffle bar is now history.  I needed something to eat with the Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino…)

In my desk drawer:

In the pantry:

  • 1 half-eaten Godiva Dark and White Chocolate bar
  • Part of a 85% Dark Chocolate bar from Russia (I can’t recall the manufacturer — but it’s awesome!)
  • 1 nearly empty container of Trader Joe’s Belgian Dark Chocolate Mini Grahams (I bought those for Christmas)
  • 1 half-full container Trader Joes’ Dark Chocolate covered Australian Crystallized Ginger (technically, these are a vegetarian, low-sodium food!)
  • 3 Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bars
  • 2 bars Larabar Jocolat (chocolate) pure organic chocolate food bar (fabulous!  made with dates, almonds, walnuts, cashews and cocoa)
  • Part of a Chuao Spicy Maya — 60% dark chocolate bar infused with pasilla chile and cayenne pepper
  • 1 jar Love Street Living Foods 100% organic Raw Vegan Chocolate Spread w/ Agave Nectar **This truly IS a healthy food!**
  • 1 half-full Jar Nutella hazelnut and cocoa spread
  • 1 jar Pure Ohio Creamed Honey Spread, Chocolate flavor, from Ambrose Honeyworks, a local bee farm
  • 1 Trader Joe’s 72% DARK Belgian Chocolate bar
  • 1 Endangered Species Chocolate bar; 70% Dark Chocolate w/ Raspberries
  • 1 bag Dark Chocolate covered Pretzels from Bella Chocolates (a local chocolatier)

In my Coffee Corner:

  • 1 Tin Trader Joe’s Sipping Chocolate mix
  • 1 nearly-empty tin of Starbucks Mocha Powder (sporting the tagline: “when coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate”)

Oh, and this inventory does not count the tin of Hershey’s Cocoa or the bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet Chocolate chips, because they are technically not for eating — just for cooking.
Is it possible to have too much dark chocolate?
“Too much,” I think, is an assessment.  It feels like an arbitrary judgment.  My wife is a sports fanatic.  Is it possible, I might ask, to watch “too much” football or “too much” baseball?  She would, of course, respond that it is not possible.
She is a consumer of sports, I am a consumer of Dark Chocolate.  Sports is her Vice of Choice, while Dark Chocolate is mine.  I call that a tie!
Besides, if there was NO Dark Chocolate in the house, I would feel insecure and anxious.  What if there’s a snowstorm, and we can’t get to the store for several days, you know what I mean?  Having SOME Dark Chocolate in the house makes me feel warm and secure and content.  I’m a better husband, coach, parent, and Human Being when I consume Dark Chocolate.
So I conclude that the amount of Dark Chocolate in the house is…. Just Right.  And that makes me very happy.  🙂

7 thoughts on “"Too Much" Dark Chocolate? Impossible!”

  1. Seriously, you only weigh about 160 pounds. After reading this it is obvious that you only eat chocolate, brussel sprouts and carrots or else you’d be at 242+. I think you ought to give up Happiness coaching and write a weight loss book about losing weight with chocolate. That would make more people happy and would keep my wife from killing me after she reads this latest news from Jim. TOM

  2. LOL @ your post AND at Tom’s reply! (Or as my husband would say “ILSHCCOMN”…..”I Laughed So Hard Coke Came Out of My Nose….don’t ask)
    There are two things I know beyond all doubt…… a person CANNOT have too many books or too much chocolate. It is my firm opinion these are universal truths and cannot be questioned.
    There. Now I’ve done it. I’ll be banned from replying to any future posts won’t I? 😉

  3. LOL! Actually, I weigh 175, Tom, and one of my life goals (seriously!) is to wear the same size suit at age 66 as I did at age 22. I’m 2/3 of the way there (30 years down, 14 to go) and I’m still on track. In order to feed my dark chocolate addiction I work out six days a week, eat a primarily whole foods/non-meat diet, and yes, that means a LOT of carrots, spinach, raw things, and water. It’s all for the sake of chocolate!
    and Lisa, thanks for the new acronym. Not pretty, but VERY visual! 🙂
    (And let’s not talk about the Amazon.com addiction, shall we?)

  4. I agree with your sentiment but with the dark chocolate you are packing in the sugars, fats and all that is not good for you.
    Even health claiming Cocoa Via is not as healthy as you imagine. All store-bought chocolate advertised as “Healthy” is actually heat processed, destroying 75% – 80% of the vital nutrients. Slightly misleading marketing but yes, better than milk chocolate.

  5. Paul, between you and my wife I am well reminded that chocolate is, of course, not really a “health” food. But I can pretend, can’t I? 🙂 Plus, it’s truly my only vice, and I figure I’ve got to have at least one!


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